“Home is the wallpaper above the bed, the family dinner table, the church bells in the morning, the bruised shins of the playground, the small fears that come with dusk, the streets and squares and monuments and shops that constitute one's first universe.” ~Henry Anatole Grunwald
For some strange reason, at least once a week, my husband will ask me at the breakfast table what my story will be for the newspaper. And, about once a week, I say, “I have no earthly idea.” And at least once a week, I have to clear off the table to make room for the food. Anything loose ends up on the table. This week, it was his broken fence charger, a new latch for the calf-pen gate, catalogs for cow stuff, and his iPhone. I was not innocent in the deal. Across the table where he sits is where I sit, a space loaded with books and magazines, my purse, and my laptop. The table was cleared, and breakfast served.
“Did you realize how important a table is to a family?” I asked. Between bites of food, we began to list all the things special, almost sacred, about the kitchen table.
My children knew growing up that we sit down at the table together, bow our heads, and give thanks before we eat. We laughed until we snorted sometimes when they started tattling on each other. Feet didn’t touch the floor until they had finished. As they grew up, there had to be a good reason why they could not be home for supper.
A recent survey by a major food company found 40% of Americans said they eat dinner together only three or four times a week, with 10% saying they never eat together at all. When they do sit together, the television does the talking. Another survey said 30% of the takers cited the couch as their primary at-home eating location. Seventeen percent said they eat in their bedroom.
In her book The Woman Who Fell From the Sky, Native American writer Joy Harjo wrote a poem about the dinner table. The poem is titled “Maybe the World Ends Here.”
“The world begins at a kitchen table. No matter what, we must eat to live.
The gifts of earth are brought and prepared, set on the table. So it has been since creation, and it will go on.
We chase chickens or dogs away from it. Babies teethe at the corners. They scrape their knees under it.
It is here that children are given instructions on what it means to be human. We make men at it, we make women.
At this table we gossip, recall enemies and the ghosts of lovers.
Our dreams drink coffee with us as they put their arms around our children. They laugh with us at our poor falling-down selves and as we put ourselves back together once again at the table.
This table has been a house in the rain, an umbrella in the sun.
Wars have begun and ended at this table. It is a place to hide in the shadow of terror. A place to celebrate the terrible victory.
We have given birth on this table, and have prepared our parents for burial here.
At this table we sing with joy, with sorrow. We pray of suffering and remorse. We give thanks.
Perhaps the world will end at the kitchen table, while we are laughing and crying, eating of the last sweet bite.”
The following is a list of the benefits of eating together. (www.healthlinkbc.ca) People of all ages eat better when they share a meal with others.
Benefits for kids and teens include:
healthier eating into adulthood
healthier body weight
lower risk of disordered eating
less use of cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol
fewer behavior problems and decreased early sexual activity
better self-esteem and less depression
better grades and higher scores on achievement tests at school
Eating together is fun. Eating together can change America, maybe even the world.
Meg Gruben has a M.Ed. in Counseling and Human Development. She is a licensed professional counselor intern.